Got Me Out Here Here In The Water So Deep

[plazmah]

Title: The Sacrifice
Author: plazmah
Rating: PG
Summary: The enemy has driven both the men and women of the proud Rajput line to extremes of courage and strength. But Ratnavali is looking for her own definition of courage.
Author's Notes: Not just original fic, it's historical fic! Any of my desi peeps know the story about Rani Padmini? I know there's an Amar Chita Kata on her. ;) Click on the link for the background on the events that transpired; you need to know her story to understand mine, maybe even a little Hinduism? IDK LOL. Unbetaed.

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As the women coaxed their tired children into drinking the opiate concoction, Ratnavali took the opportunity to slip away, crouching behind a large pillar as her heart hammered in her chest. The crowd was quiet, focused, whole-heartedly following Rani Padmini's example. Elderly women stood next to their blind husbands, children slept in their mother's arms, and the unmarried girls held each other tightly. The beautiful and proud queen tilted the jeweled cup in her hands backwards, so that their small rajkumari swallowed every drop, eyelids already starting to droop. A small mercy for what was to follow...

Once upon a time, it had meant nothing to Ratnavali. Jauhar had been a shadow, an idea, distant actions taken by a Rajput woman of the highest resolve and strength. Somehow, committing yourself to death didn't fit Ratnavali's concept of strength. Besides, she had accidentally burned both her arms as a child; the thought of self-immolation terrified her. It didn't matter if she brought dishonour to herself, she couldn't kill herself. Not like this, not now.

Cowardly girl, what will you do if you survive? Her conscience whispered, sounding startlingly similar to her late mother. Your kinsmen and kinswoman will be dead, either from honourable battle or the great sacrifice of jauhar. How will you survive? Who will care for you then?

I will care for myself. I will find a way. Ratnavali squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath as the crowd began to move, towards the underground rooms of the palace where they would jump into the blessed fire. The men were already at the fort gates, bedecked for their final stand, and were not present to see those that they loved walk towards their destruction.

---

Her stomach growled and flies buzzed around her head, but Ratnavali did not make a single move until the distant chanting finally ended. It was then that she heard the call, the gates opening, the warrior cries of the heart-broken men as they galloped towards the enemy who had laid siege on them for so long. As the hoof beats receded, Ratnavali finally stood up from her hiding spot, trembling with exhaustion and wondering what to do next. The fort was now utterly silent and tears began to form in her eyes. Everything she had ever known, taken away forever...

"Child, what are you doing here?" Ratnavali gasped and whirled as the voice behind her spoke. Standing there was the king's guru, dressed in familiar saffron robes that stood out against his greying beard.

Her mind went blank with panic. "I... I... what are you doing here?"

He frowned, stepping closer to her with a strange look on his face. "Jauhar is performed as the sacred Vedic scriptures are recited, which was the task entrusted to me. I ask again, what are you doing here? Why did you not join your sisters in jauhar?"

Ratnavali struggled with the right words, but how to explain her cowardice to the enlightened bramhim before her? Without thinking, she pulled down the shawl she had wrapped around her upper body. With only her blouse underneath, the ugly scars on her arms were uncovered, glaring mottled red in the light of the morning sun. "I am already too familiar with the pain of fire, noble sage."

The guru stared at her arms for a moment, taking in the sight, then looked down at her with compassion. "It is tradition that kshatriya, especially the proud Rajputs, demonstrate their warrior spirit at all costs. We brahmins do not act thusly; I shall take you to my ashram where you can seek refuge. But quickly, lest the infidels find and capture us."

Ratnavali nodded vigorously, wrapping the shawl back around her and walking behind the old guru. Taking one last look at her childhood home, she wiped the tears from her eyes and walked towards the unknown.

---

The jungle was dense and humid, mosquitoes humming in her ears as they feasted on her blood. But she did not shrink at their sting, merely plunging forward through the dense woods with the guru leading the way. Despite his old age, his walk was brisk and determined, no doubt due to the fact that they were racing against both the enemy and the rising sun. Branches scratched and tore at her clothes as she hurried along as silently as possible, when the guru slowed down and turned to look at her.

"Ratnavali, I hear the hoof beat of horses approaching."

Ratnavali strained her ears to hear above the cacophony of the birds and insects. Yes, in the distance they approached... the enemy. She thought for a moment before speaking. "Revered sage, hurry on ahead to your ashram. I have been trained in the warrior arts and can protect myself, I will distract them. No doubt you have heard stories of how this infidel has slaughtered villages full of pious and unarmed brahmins, so it's best that you leave."

The guru shook his head. "My child, how will you stand against a pack of these devils? The Sultan and his men will be furious that their appetites were denied this day; you walk into the lion's den by staying here. Come with me."

"We cannot outrun horses. Even though I did not take part in the jauhar, I am still a Rajput. I will fight and protect those who need protection."

Ratnavali looked at the guru obstinately, her heart pounding once again as the horses drew closer. At last he sighed in concession, placing his hand on her head. "Bless you, brave one, for walking the path many men are unwilling to walk."

She bowed her head and closed her eyes, accepting the blessing from the guru. Then he was gone, his bright robes devoured by the dense jungle, and Ratnavali was alone.

---

Of course, she had no idea what they were saying. She knew nothing of their strange language. But she knew it was nothing good. They were laughing, the infidels, their eyes flashing with lust and excitement at the sight of her sitting on the rock with her shawl pulled tightly to her body.

Wait, just wait. A moment will present itself. That is when you strike. The voice in her mind sounded like her brother, who had secretly taught her to use swords and bows. He was probably dead now, his soul riding up to heaven after the courageous battle the men had fought. I will make him proud of his sister.

One of the men jumped down from his horse, walked over and grabbed her by the arm, roughly pulling her up to stand. She allowed herself to be manhandled, keeping her eyes downcast. There was a dagger hanging from the man's belt, bronze with a green hilt, as well as a sword on his back. Ratnavali took a deep breath, listened as the men shouted amongst each other, then swiftly grabbed the dagger and slashed the man's throat as hard as she could. His eyes rolled back in shock as he gurgled and fell to the ground.

The other men began to yell, jumping down from their horses and approaching her angrily with murder in their eyes. Grabbing the sword on the dead man's back, she held both weapons in her hands as the shawl began to fall off, baring her scars for all to see. But she did not care if these dangerous men saw her scars, not now. She had a duty to fulfill. I will protect the king's guru, and those who cannot protect themselves.

The pack of men closed in, prepared to attack Ratnavali. Her hands were steady as seven swords swung at her. This is what strength is. This is my sacrifice.

---end---

Translations
rajkumari - princess

Comments

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

Name choice was a coincidence; I knew that Ratnavali was someone else but I couldn't remember who!